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Parenting

Giving Your Kid Some Independence (Because They’ll Love it!)

Day 3-10:37 pm: Giving my little one some independence has always been a difficult task for me. I have been practicing attachment parenting so she’s been pretty much by my side at all times. It drives my father-in-law crazy and he always tells me to give her some space. But, it’s the way I feel comfortable parenting, and the way my mom raised me (and I turned out alright….I think….). So, when thinking about jobs and even just my job search, I’ve had a lot of anxiety around the potential that I won’t be spending as much time with her. But, I have to keep telling myself that giving your kid some independence is an important part of growing up and development, despite what my heart is telling me.

Do you have anxiety when thinking about giving your kid some independence?

It’s ok, most parents do, no matter how old the kid is. I have been working at my toddler’s preschool but had the day off, and this afternoon I needed some time to submit a few more applications for jobs. Despite my anxiety and hesitation, I decided to book her a spot at the “drop-in” preschool and go to the local Starbucks and work. Since I have been working at the preschool for a year, I know the teachers, I know the kids, and I know that she has a good time.

But, we both have some separation anxiety. I get worried about dropping her off, and she usually cries when I do. Ugh. A vicious cycle. I’m sure she was just picking up on my anxiety. But each time I drop her off she gets better. The crying lasts only a few minutes and then she is fine.

So this afternoon I booked 1.5 hours and drove to the preschool to drop her off.

My heart beat fast. I was starting to get my anxiety. But, I knew that her friends would be there and she hadn’t seen them during the winter break. So I took a deep breath, and dropped her off. And guess what? She was totally fine! She strolled right in like she owned the place. She started doing an art project. The kids ran up and greeted her. And when I said I was going to go run a quick errand, she looked up and said, “You’ll be back quick?” and I said, “Yes, super quick.” Then she turned back around and worked on her art project like it was nothing!

I was thrilled and confused. But, also proud of my little girl who is growing up. So I slinked away, still feeling the anxiety, but knowing that she is fine. And I have to admit, it felt good.

 It was amazing to see her gain her independence.

I went to Starbucks and got a lot done. I didn’t actually join HireMyMom.com yet because I got side tracked on a few other sites like Indeed.com and Upwork.com where I applied to a few jobs. And, those sites were free, so that’s a big plus!

When I went to pick her up, she was playing happily with her friends and when she saw me, she had a big smile and ran over and gave me a huge hug! *Heart melt* Then she said, “Mommy, I had no tears!” and I said I was so proud of her. Then she beamed with pride and I could tell she was proud of herself too.

It was an amazing moment.

To see her have some independence and thrive, and be proud of herself for the accomplishment, was incredible. It made me feel so much better about giving her some independence, and knowing that when I do find a job, she will enjoy having some time at school to be her own wonderful person.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have anxiety around it. But, this was a great win for us.

So remember, giving your kid some independence is ok. And, you will all feel great about it.

Declutter for a Fresh Start

Day 2-10:59 pm: The holidays have been wonderful. I love having the tree up in the living room and keeping the glittering lights on at night. But, alas, the holidays are behind us once again and that beautiful tree in the living room was beginning to feel a little….well….tight. We don’t have the largest living room and with the addition of a ton of new toys, it felt even smaller. So, it was time to declutter.

Decluttering allows me to feel like we have a fresh start.

So, as we took down the tree and put away the ornaments and holiday decorations, we reflected on the good times we had over the holiday and started thinking of all the exciting possibilities the new year brings. It felt so good once that tree was out of the living room and I felt like we had so much space back! My toddler was no longer tripping on toys or stepping on pine needles. We moved the play table back in front of the window and opened up our entryway. It was so nice.

Have you taken the time to declutter and put away the holidays?

I know for a lot of people they like to leave the decorations up and hold on to the feeling of the holidays for as long as they can. That used to be me. But, this year I was really looking forward to having my space back again. I think it’s really important to close one chapter before beginning a new and exciting one. Putting the holiday decorations away was my way of doing that.

I feel a sense of freedom and renewal. It signals to me that it’s time to get to work on my goals and resolutions. And, I think it’s important to have a clean space where you can work and live. This allows your mind to be clear and your focus improves.

Here are some easy steps you can do today to declutter and organize your home after the holidays:

Take down the tree

I know, we all love the tree. It smells good, it casts a beautiful glow on the room, and all those ornaments bring back nostalgic memories. But let’s get real, the pine needles poke into your feet when you are walking, the tree is seriously drying out, and you have no room for anything around it. It’s time to take it down, and trust me, you will feel so much better when you do!

Put away the holiday decorations

I love my little snowmen, and the elves, and since my family celebrates Hanukkah too, the menorah. Give them a little kiss, put them in a box, and look at your room. You will be amazed at how much space you have! The room will instantly feel bigger and less cluttered. And, if it’s looking a little bare, you can always put up some soft white winter decorations. Just something new to bring in the new year.

Put away the old toys

I’m not talking about your child’s favorite stuffed teddy, but any toys that you think they are bored with you should do one of three things: store, re-gift, or donate. I like to do the rotating toys method where you put some toys in boxes and leave others out. Then when they start to get bored with those toys, bring out the stored toys and switch them out. They will seem brand new to your kid and they will have a whole “new” set of toys to play with. And, you won’t have a million toys everywhere in your house. Win-win!

After you do all of this, you will be ready for a new adventure. This was the first step I have taken towards my Journey to Harmony and already I’m feeling better and more motivated! I know you can do it too!

Ok, my toddler is up so I need to go! Best of luck!

Confessions of a Millennial Housewife

Day 1-10:29 pm: It’s the start of a brand new year. Everyone is talking about their resolutions, their goals, and their dreams. I think this is a wonderful time to start fresh and embrace a new and better you. It is a time to become a Millennial Housewife.

Which is why I am revamping my blog.

It’s true I’ve only just started. But after taking a look at several other blogs I realized something. Everyone is claiming to be an “expert” in their niche. They know how to cook, or they started their own business, or they know the best way to get your kid to potty train. They are all sharing their advice with you. Which is great, and I enjoy reading them.

When I started my blog I wanted to feel like an “expert” in something. I wanted to be the expert Millennial Housewife. Then I quickly realized I felt like a fraud. I didn’t actually feel like an “expert” in anything.

And I want to be truthful to you, my readers.

So, I decided to try something new. I am not going to blog about “been there done that” stuff. I’m going to blog about my journey. Because we all have a journey. Nobody magically wakes up one morning and is an expert in something. I think it’s only fair that I bring you along for the ride.

I’ve decided to call this my Journey to Harmony

I believe that we all are trying to find harmony, but sometimes it is referred to as “balance”. But as a mom, a wife, and an aspiring mompreneur, I feel there is no such thing as balance. Balance means giving equal attention to each thing. But it doesn’t work that way. Some days your kid needs extra attention. Some days you may need a little more me time. And that’s ok. We all just need to find a way for all our roles to work in harmony with one another. And that means something different for everybody.

I don’t know about you, but currently I don’t feel very harmonious. Some things have been put before others and I need to figure out how to make them all work in harmony.

So I’m about to come clean about a few things and explain what I plan to do about it.

Money

Yes, there’s that word. It’s a word that causes a lot of stress and anxiety for many people, including myself. Money has become a huge elephant in the room for my family.

After teaching, I decided I wanted to be a stay at home mom. But, we didn’t exactly budget for one income, then we leased a car and bought a house. So you can imagine how our bank accounts may have gotten smaller and smaller. We started putting more and more on credit cards and now here we are, in a lot of debt.

We can no longer afford to have me be a full time stay at home mom. I need to find a job, which to be honest, sucks.

I’m going to be sharing my journey of how we are going to get out of this debt.

Job

So, I am looking for a job that allows me to work part time, or work from home. I’m looking for that magic “diamond in the rough” where I can be present with raising my toddler and also bring in some decent money to help support my family. I’ve been doing a lot of research. Reading a lot of blogs. Searching through a lot of jobs. Usually I look at any job and gag. The thought of not being home with my little one churns my stomach. But, then I remember that if I can bring in a little extra income each month, that she will be able to continue ballet, or I can buy all organic food, or we can take a family vacation. These are all things that will only make our tiny little world better. So, I keep searching.
I’m going to share my journey of how I will find and manage a part time or work from home job.

Mompreneur

But, I think I may have found the “diamond in the rough”. So many moms are becoming “mompreneurs” and starting their own at home businesses. This allows them to work when they want, and be with their kids when they want. They can run the business and bring in money while their kids nap, or are at school. MAGICAL! So many moms have said they have found harmony by starting their own businesses and they feel successful and happy about where they are. That’s what I want.

The thing is, they put in a lot of hard work to get where they are. And, it doesn’t happen overnight. My family needs money now, so I’ll still have to find another job, while I’m building up my business. Yikes! But, I can do it. So can you.

I’m going to share my journey of how I will become a mompreneur.

Feeling Better

Another aspect I want to focus on is feeling better about my body. Do you know what I mean? I want to eat better, and actually exercise. Not just say I’m going to exercise, but actually do it! What’s great is that my toddler is really into yoga (I’ve only done it a few times with her in our living room but she really took to it!), and she is always saying, “Mommy, let’s exercise.” so really, how can I say no to that! So this new year, I’m going to exercise more. Really. Really.

I’m going to share my jouney of how I am going to physically feel better and stronger.

These are all things I think are very familiar to a Millennial Housewife. These are all things people struggle with day in and day out. So why shouldn’t we go on this journey together? It’ll only make us stronger, wiser, and better people. It’ll make us better moms, and wives, and it can only make the world a better place.

I’m so excited to start my Journey to Harmony and I want you to get excited too! Come join my private Facebook Group where we can all share the progress of our journeys and offer support to one another along the way. Because the road will not be easy. It’s not going to be paved in gold. And if we can be there to support each other, it’ll make it just a little bit brighter. Then we can all get there together.

Wishing you all the best on your Journey to Harmony.

 

How to Plan a Stress-Free Holiday Season

Traffic. Parking lots. Long lines. Packed malls. Money worries. Does this sound like your holiday season? It pexels-photo-54200sure sounds like mine. When those first Christmas commercials start showing up right after Halloween, my mind starts racing with all of the things I HAVE to do before the holidays arrive. Stress bubbles up inside me and I feel like there’s never enough time. Whatever happened to the days when the holidays were magical and joyful?

I’m going to offer you a simple way to plan a stress-free holiday season full of magic.

Close your eyes and think back on a time when you were young. The weather began to turn cold and the fireplace was cleaned out to make a nice cozy fire. Can you smell the warm embers and hear the crackling wood? Picture the lights on the houses, the warm sweaters you wear as you take a brisk walk. Maybe you had a Christmas tree that smelled of pine. You would carefully hang the ornaments and put your stockings on the fireplace. Or maybe you would help your mom or dad light the menorah and sing songs while the candles glowed bright. There was an anticipation of Santa or presents. Your family would gather together and there would be a feeling of magic everywhere.

Magic.

But somehow as we get older, the magic gets lost. By time. By money. By stress. It hides away buried beneath all that you have to do, the places you need to be, and the money you need to spend.

I recently attended a wonderful webinar by an old friend, Becca, from thedabblist.com. She talked about the slowing down of nature during this time of year, and how everything goes into rest. The trees, the plants, and the animals. It’s nature’s way of rejuvenating itself for the upcoming springtime. However, as nature is resting, we are entering the holiday season, where it seems as though we are ramping up and getting busier and more stressed. It is counterintuitive to what we should be doing. So how do we stop this? How do we get in touch with our more natural inner selves?

As Millennial Housewives a lot of the pressure of the holiday season rests on our shoulders. We decorate, shuttle the kids to all of their holiday activities, buy the gifts, and make the food. No wonder we feel ramped up. And the kids pick up on your energy. If you are stressed, they feel it too. And I know you as much as I want to make this holidays season magical for them just like it was for you.

Let’s do an exercise. 

First, get some snacks for the kiddos. Get yourself a nice cup of tea or wine (either works!). Find a spot where you can all gather together like the dining room table. Then set your kids up with some crayons and a piece of paper. You get one too. Ok, I want you all to write or draw everything you love about the holidays.

Ok, I want you all to write or draw everything you love about the holidays. When I say this holidays, I mean now through January 2, 2017.

For me, it’s being with family, watching my toddler open gifts and get excited about Santa, giving back, and shopping for a Christmas tree. I also love the smell of a warm fire, the twinkling of lights on houses, putting out milk and cookies, and lighting the menorah. (Little backstory, my family celebrated both holidays!)

Your turn. Write everything you love about the holidays. Have you kids draw their favorite things. Then sit down as a family and show each other what you came up with. Talk about it. Share. Maybe that will lead you into talking about fun things that happened in holidays before.

Can you start to feel the joy? The magic is already working.

Next step. 

You and the kiddos can now brainstorm on all of the things you WANT to do this holiday season. Not need. Want. For example, I WANT to go to the Christmas tree farm to pick out a tree, I want to take a night to decorate it, I want to make my own gifts this year, I want to take a walk in our neighborhood to see the Christmas lights, I want to have dinner with our family.  

Your want list should include things that are going to be whole family activities. It should be things that will bring you together. Activities that would bring you joy. Things that would bring out the magic in the season.

Your turn. Have the kids share their ideas as well and write them down.

Remember, there are things you feel like you HAVE to do versus WANT. But, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. It’s ok to say no when you are feeling overwhelmed. Give yourself and your family a few free passes. I know I love to participate in everything and go to every party and event, but sometimes that gets to be too much, especially for my toddler, so I have to say no. You don’t have to spend a ton of money shopping. You don’t have to go to your husband’s boss’ wife’s baking party, you don’t have to stand in long lines at the mall.

Have you guys written them down? Great!

Take a break and have some snacks and drink some tea.

Ok, back to work!

Have to

Now that you have your want list, you can look at your HAVE to list. But be very careful with this. I want your HAVE to list to be smaller than your WANT list. If you can , keep it under 10 items and make sure they are a must. But after each one, write why it is a have to with a want to. Sound confusing? Let me show you.

Here are my have to’s:

  1.   Host Thanksgiving dinner at my house, because I want to have my family over.
  2.   Save money so I can buy my toddler 2 specific toys because I want to make sure I see the smile on her face when she gets them.
  3.   Decorate my house, because I want to come home and see it look beautiful every day.
  4.   Go to my in-laws Christmas pizza party, because I want to celebrate with my family.
  5.   Work on my blog and Etsy shop, because I want to be successful and my readers are counting on me.

Ok, your turn! Make sure to include your kids. Maybe they have a Christmas concert they are in that you have to go to. Or maybe they have to do a special school project. But always make sure to include a want to. By doing this it makes it more meaningful and less stressful.

Wish list

Take a look at both lists. Compare all your lists with your family members. Now perhaps some things on your wants need to be moved to your wish list. These are things that would be great to have but perhaps won’t work for everyone. Each person gets their own wish list. It could be whatever they want to put on there. 

Here’s my wish list:

  • Put up more family photos
  • Hire a house cleaner the day before Thanksgiving
  • Watch the movie “Elf” while drinking hot chocolate
  • Go to the tree lighting festival downtown

Have you and your kids write or draw their wish list.

Plan it!

Now it’s time to write it down on the calendar! Get out your Google calendar (because I know you have one, Millennial), and put down that dates of all of the things you have to do from nor through January 2, 2017. Make sure those days are blocked off. Ok, next fill in the calendar with the wants

Be careful, because this is where it gets tricky. Sometimes people want to do a lot of things, and it’s great to try to get to them all. But, if you start to notice that there is no room on your calendar to do everything and you don’t have any days off, it’s too much. Stop, take a step back, and make a plan.

Take a moment to find out what’s really important to you and your kids. Figure out which of the wants is going to be the most meaningful and create the best memories for your family. If the want is to go to the mall to get that matching outfit for your American Girl doll, maybe that can go on the wish list. Find a way to make it work for everyone.

And, most importantly, give yourselves time and days where you are doing nothing. Nothing. These are the days where you can take a breath and relax. Where you can wind down, like nature. Reserve those days for walks and cozy fires.

Your wish list can be filled in where you see gaps. Maybe each person in the family gets 1-2 days where they can fill in their wish list item. Then if you have time, you can try to get to more.

Get ready to party (and relax)

Ok, so now you have everything on the calendar. Yay!! I’m so proud. Now you can see how much time you have for everything. You can see how much time you have to make your gifts (and not run around trying to get them last minute). You can plan ahead to book that cabin in the mountains (because I always wait till the last minute). You can see those days that you and your family will come together, relax, and enjoy the holidays.

Phew. Do you feel better? Now your planning is all done and you can sit back and enjoy the ride. It’ll still get busy, but you’ve prioritized the things that will be special for your family, build happy memories, and create some magic.

So let’s take a deep cleansing breath. Give your kids a hug and tell them they did a great job. And, admire this calendar you built together with love. Most importantly, look ahead to all of the wonderful things the holidays bring.

What are your favorite things about the holidays? What did your family come up with? Let me know in the comments below!

Oh, and coming soon will be a post of the best (and easiest, oh and cheapest) handmade gifts you can make with your kids!