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Giving Your Kid Some Independence (Because They’ll Love it!)

Day 3-10:37 pm: Giving my little one some independence has always been a difficult task for me. I have been practicing attachment parenting so she’s been pretty much by my side at all times. It drives my father-in-law crazy and he always tells me to give her some space. But, it’s the way I feel comfortable parenting, and the way my mom raised me (and I turned out alright….I think….). So, when thinking about jobs and even just my job search, I’ve had a lot of anxiety around the potential that I won’t be spending as much time with her. But, I have to keep telling myself that giving your kid some independence is an important part of growing up and development, despite what my heart is telling me.

Do you have anxiety when thinking about giving your kid some independence?

It’s ok, most parents do, no matter how old the kid is. I have been working at my toddler’s preschool but had the day off, and this afternoon I needed some time to submit a few more applications for jobs. Despite my anxiety and hesitation, I decided to book her a spot at the “drop-in” preschool and go to the local Starbucks and work. Since I have been working at the preschool for a year, I know the teachers, I know the kids, and I know that she has a good time.

But, we both have some separation anxiety. I get worried about dropping her off, and she usually cries when I do. Ugh. A vicious cycle. I’m sure she was just picking up on my anxiety. But each time I drop her off she gets better. The crying lasts only a few minutes and then she is fine.

So this afternoon I booked 1.5 hours and drove to the preschool to drop her off.

My heart beat fast. I was starting to get my anxiety. But, I knew that her friends would be there and she hadn’t seen them during the winter break. So I took a deep breath, and dropped her off. And guess what? She was totally fine! She strolled right in like she owned the place. She started doing an art project. The kids ran up and greeted her. And when I said I was going to go run a quick errand, she looked up and said, “You’ll be back quick?” and I said, “Yes, super quick.” Then she turned back around and worked on her art project like it was nothing!

I was thrilled and confused. But, also proud of my little girl who is growing up. So I slinked away, still feeling the anxiety, but knowing that she is fine. And I have to admit, it felt good.

 It was amazing to see her gain her independence.

I went to Starbucks and got a lot done. I didn’t actually join yet because I got side tracked on a few other sites like and where I applied to a few jobs. And, those sites were free, so that’s a big plus!

When I went to pick her up, she was playing happily with her friends and when she saw me, she had a big smile and ran over and gave me a huge hug! *Heart melt* Then she said, “Mommy, I had no tears!” and I said I was so proud of her. Then she beamed with pride and I could tell she was proud of herself too.

It was an amazing moment.

To see her have some independence and thrive, and be proud of herself for the accomplishment, was incredible. It made me feel so much better about giving her some independence, and knowing that when I do find a job, she will enjoy having some time at school to be her own wonderful person.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have anxiety around it. But, this was a great win for us.

So remember, giving your kid some independence is ok. And, you will all feel great about it.